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How To Have The Night Of Your Life Every Night You Go Out


Just before the bars close you might notice some angry men walking around.

Literally visibly angry that they didn’t get any phone numbers or meet their next one night stand. You can see it in their eyes. Anger against women for rejecting them and anger against men with women for having female companionship.

Sometimes they get in fights. Sometimes they mask it with ten dollars worth of Taco Bell. And sometimes they get sexually aggressive to the point where they make women feel unsafe.

The problem? They went out with an agenda. They went out with a goal.

Whether it’s getting phone numbers or going home with a woman at the end of the night, it’s a goal. It’s an expectation. And expectations are a prison.

I can totally sympathize with these guys. I’ve been there. I remember going out in my early twenties with a group of guys every week. We’d pregame with tumblers filled with vodka and Red Bull and stumble into the nightclub, sloppily hitting on women. Some of us got laid, but we were attracting our reciprocal… other sloppily drunk girls.

Most of the time though I just went home with a carne asada burrito and large horchata.

Besides a consciously planned month long party, I’ve been going out much less lately. And when I do it’s usually sober. Not that drinking is “bad.” I’m just finding it serves me less and less lately.

But when I do go out, it’s the night of my life. One of those nights where you wake up sore from dancing and laughing all night or full of love and inspiration from amazing conversations with great people.

Off the top of my head, here’s a couple of things that have been helping me have the night of my life time and time again.


1. Feel grateful that I’m alive

I’m alive? Hell yeah! Big win.

I breathe into the pleasure of my own existence.

Mmm, life is delicious.


2. Feel grateful for the friends who are with me

I have friends with me? Sweet, I love these guys. I’m so lucky to have them in my life.

Seriously, I really love these guys. We could be sitting on the floor in an empty room and it would be a blast. But we’re out here interacting with humans? Even better!


3. Genuinely connect with women (or men) with an open heart

Hi there First-Person-Who-Walked-In-Front-Of-Me.

Let’s talk about things that matter. What are you excited about lately? What are you most proud of? What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done? What are you obsessed about?

Tell me more about that. Say more. That’s incredible.

Great meeting you. Have an amazing night.

Hi Random-Guy-Sitting-Alone-In-Front-Of-Me.


4. Remember that the most important person in the room is the person in front of me right now

You’re interesting. I appreciate you. I see the parts of me that are the parts of you.

I’m looking at you in the eyes. Not at the women passing by, not at the televisions behind you, and not at my friends talking over in the corner.

You are the most important person in the world and I’m captivated by everything you say.

100% of my attention and presence is yours and yours only.

OK, I’m done talking to you for now. I’m going to either excuse myself politely or get your contact information to continue the conversation later.

Damn, I appreciate you. I’m so glad I met you.


5. Stay rooted in my body and not up in my head

Breathe Mike. Relax.

They can feel the tension in your body as you approach them. Especially the women. They are virtually psychic.

Forget about the work you have to do tomorrow, forget about what happened today, and stop thinking about what to do or say.

Bring the energy down from your head down into your body. Down into your balls and your belly. Feel your legs becoming heavy, like oak trees. There, you feel much more grounded now. Aaaah.

Just be. Just breathe. Relax.


6. Bring zero expectations or attachment to any outcome

I am attached to nothing. I relate and interact without any agenda or goal in mind.

I’m just here having fun in a playground full of adults.

Everything is perfect as it is. Anything else from here is just a bonus.


Yes, I’m a pick up artist. Of sorts.

One who’s main intention now is picking up the energy and mood of the people around me, regardless if they’re male, female, short, tall, skinny, fat, married, or single.

I go out without an agenda, a plan, or a desired outcome. I’m just here to play and practice.

And every night out becomes the night of my life.


[Photo Credit]

  • Matt Bailey

    haha So true man. I can relate to this entirely. I remember always having an agenda at the bar way back in the day. Fun times but yea, not much meaning behind most of it. Just trying to create a new story for friends and myself.

    It was super fun letting go in Austin with you guys and not having an agenda. Just letting loose and dancing. Lots of laughing. Great times. Rather than being simply hungover every morning, I actually felt energized and ready to go again.

    • Mike Hrostoski

      Yeah dude, it was super fun. By the end of the week you were Lord Of The Dance Floor. 🙂

  • Kelly Scotti

    Really hoping I get a chance to hang with you again when we’re at WDS, and practice your technique 🙂

    • Mike Hrostoski

      Of course! I’m going to facilitate some authentic relating games in the park. I’ll be sure to send you the details do you can RSVP. We are limiting it to 40 people.

  • John Muscarello

    Great post Mike! #4 is awesome because it really relates to what I teach people on my blog. Being present in the moment and not distracted is better then giving someone a compliment. I am also got to start doing #6. Go out, have fun, and see what happens. Whether the time is good, bad, happy, or sad I will have a great story to tell people! We have to get together soon and catch up.

  • Taylor Jacobson

    4 & 5, great points. Amazing how much of my “difficulty paying attention” vanishes with an attitude change.

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