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Sucking Titties: A Path To Enlightenment

Sucking Titties

The following is a chapter from my upcoming second book: “July: If It Doesn’t Involve Love Or Fun, What’s The Point?”

July 9, 2014

Today most of us live better than the kings of ancient history. The wealth of resources that we have access to at any given moment is hundreds of times greater than what our ancestors had thousands of years ago.

The statement above is something I say a lot in interviews, but for the past 24 hours I truly felt like a king.

I woke up this morning at 10:30am and showered in a room overlooking the Manhattan skyline. I walked five minutes to Milk Studios where I was welcomed by a team of around twenty people who were there just to support the act of taking pictures and videos of myself and three other entrepreneurs. There were makeup artists, stylists, tailors, photographers, videographers, production staff, catering staff, lighting technicians, art directors, and members of the corporate team from both GQ and Express.

For the entire day I was waited on hand and foot. Someone helped me put on my shoes and tie them for me. Two women followed me around all afternoon to blot my face and touch up my makeup. The stylist kept fixing my look throughout the shoot, sometimes fixing my collar or rolling up my sleeve. At one point I was standing on the roof of the building with literally fifteen people around me just to support the shoot. I said to them, “There are so many human beings right now just to take my picture!” They just laughed.

How did I get asked to do a photo shoot for GQ Magazine? I just followed up on an email from my friend Andrew from my MBA program. That’s how most miraculous opportunities start. An email. A phone call. Or a conversation in a crowded bar somewhere.

I wish I knew this when I was younger. I used to think that people in magazines and on television were special. As if they had some kind of special something that I didn’t have and that I would never have. The deeper I go on this journey though, the more I meet people at the highest levels of wealth, fame, and achievement who just say, “Yeah man, I have no idea how I got here. I just kept saying Yes.”

No one has anything special that you don’t have right now. And that’s the good news and the bad news.

It’s the good news because now you know that you can do whatever you want. You can write a book, you can start a blog, you can start a company, you can become a yoga teacher, or you can become world class at anything you do.

It’s the bad news because now you know that you can do whatever you want. You don’t have any more excuses. The only person who is responsible for the suffering in your life is yourself. No one is coming to save you. You’re not an infant anymore. You’re an adult.

Do you ever feel nervous? Great, you’re on the right path.

Walking to the photo shoot today I was nervous. My heart was beating rapidly, I was sweating a little, and I felt a sensation that almost felt like heartburn. It’s a feeling that I rarely get to experience any more. I’ve been pushing my edges nonstop for the past three years, so my comfort zone feels like it’s a thousand times bigger than it was just several years ago.

There’s something beautiful about doing something for the first time. As soon as you do it, the fear of doing it disappears (or at least lessens dramatically).

The first time I went skydiving, three years ago, my heart was beating out of my chest. The second time I went, two years ago, I was as calm as I am while sitting at the kitchen table.

The first time I sucked a titty I was so scared I think I almost fainted. Yeah, I just said, “sucked a titty.” This was in my senior year of high school; I was what most would consider “a late bloomer.” I remember this experience as it clear as it was yesterday. I had already graduated to feeling a titty under the shirt after graduating from feeling a titty over the shirt, which was big progress for me at the time. But now it was time to put it in my mouth. I remember just staring at it thinking, “Oh my god, that’s an actual titty. And I’m going to put it in my mouth.” I kissed around the bottom part of her breast for a while, since that seemed safer than the actual nipple. Then I got closer to the nipple and just kind of hovered over it for a while. Finally I just fucking went for it. When the two made contact, my inner voice started celebrating like the crew at NASA when Apollo 11 first touched down on the moon. “Yes! You did it! Woo hoo! You titty sucking son of a bitch you! This is the greatest day of my life!” Today I could suck a titty on live television and not think twice about it. I could suck a titty on Ellen and it would be as normal as putting on my pants in the morning.

Yeah, growth is fun.

Yesterday’s phobia becomes tomorrow’s favorite pastime.

I like making you laugh. I like shooting silly pictures and uploading them on Facebook, making Liz laugh when we’re on Skype together, and writing about sucking titties. There’s no reason to be serious all of the time. There’s also no reason to be playful all of the time. I think every man should do whatever work necessary to have all energies, character traits, and ways of being available to him on a moment’s notice.

He should have the soft, caring energy of a father. The light, playful energy of a little boy. The wild, primal energy of a wild jungle cat. The dark energy of a killer. The peaceful energy of a monk. The creativity and improvisation skills of a standup comic. The steadfastness of an infantry soldier. The body awareness of a ballet dancer. The touch of a massage therapist. The sensuality of an exotic dancer. The heart of a saint. All of these men are available to you, because all of these men are in you. All of these men are in all men. And you are both a drop in the ocean and the entire ocean in a single drop.

You just have to let go of whatever barriers or false limitations that you have toward being these men. When all men are fully integrated into your mindbody then you are a God. You are limitless. The world gives you whatever you want.

The world is just one big woman and if you fuck her right she’ll reward you handsomely.

I used to get triggered when people said stuff like, “you are a God.” Now I just roll with it. There is no good reason to keep a disempowering belief. I repeat, there is no good reason to keep a disempowering belief. No good reason at all.

So I have a handful of beliefs that some people might deem as a little cocky or arrogant. But since I’ve taken these beliefs on, the quality of my life has skyrocketed. I share this one a lot in speaking engagements and workshops, “I am the best possible choice for every woman in the world.” It works for you too ladies, just switch out the woman for man. I’ve had multiple people tell me that just hearing this sentence changed their life. Seriously, imagine how you would show up in relationship if you believed that you were the best possible choice for every woman in the world.

If you were single, you wouldn’t show up needy and clingy. You would expect nothing but the best from women. And anytime a woman rejected you, you would just think, “That’s really too bad for her.”

If you were in a relationship, you would realize that even if she left you tomorrow, you would be able to bounce right back (after you allowed yourself to grieve the loss of course). You wouldn’t be jealous of her other friends who are men. You wouldn’t be controlling. You would just have this constant feeling of peace since there would be no way she would ever want to leave you. You’re the best possible choice for every woman in the world dude!

Yes, this thinking is unconventional. But how is thinking conventionally working out for you?

Yes, this might seem a little arrogant. But how is being humble working out for you?

I live a life with zero resentment. Because if I want something, I just ask for it. If I don’t get what I asked for, then I don’t care either.

Ask for everything and expect nothing.

This doesn’t make me better than you. There is nothing that I have that makes me special. And I have no reason to be living the life that I live today based off of my socioeconomic status growing up, the city I grew up in, and the religion I was raised in. There are a hundred reasons why I shouldn’t be here right now.

But I just keep saying Yes when something scares me a little. And now I regularly operate in a zone that some would deem “fearless.”

I’m not fearless. I’ve just found that welcoming the fear into my heart and taking things one step at a time is a much better way of operating than being paralyzed in fear and resenting everyone in the world who is doing the stuff that I want to be doing.

Sucking titties for the win.

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PS – I’m throwing lots of parties this month with the intention of welcoming as much Love and Fun into my life as possible. We are throwing a Big Ass Dance Party in Portland on Monday, July 14. David’s 21st Birthday Bash is in San Diego on Monday, July 28. And we’ll probably create a couple more events that I haven’t even thought of yet. Watch my Facebook News Feed for more details.

[Photo Credit]

  • joshlipo

    “I could suck a titty on Ellen and it would be as normal as putting on my pants in the morning.”

    True dat, home boy. I literally laughed out loud, here. :) Fantastic.

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