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Someone Just Said I Was Boastful

Proud Ass Lion

I just got an email from a friend as we were talking about coaching.

“…to be completely honest with you was me sensing a boastful air to your marketing where it seems to be focused on your achievements and I needed to know you cared about ME as opposed to your pride.”

Here’s what I responded back with….

‘Yeah, I’ve really burst through the humble barrier. I’m extremely proud of my life.

And being humble gets most people nowhere…

hum·ble (adjective)
1. Having or showing a modest or low estimate of one’s own importance.
“he was humble about his stature as one of rock history’s most influential guitarists”
synonyms: meek, deferential, respectful, submissive, diffident, self-effacing, unassertive.
2. Having a feeling of insignificance, inferiority, subservience, etc.:
“In the presence of so many world-famous writers I felt very humble.”

Not the way I want to promote myself, sell myself, or most importantly view myself.

But there IS a piece to making my marketing more YOU-centric. So I sincerely appreciate the nudge.

I’m going to let that gem simmer in me all day.

“It’s all about them.”
“It’s all about them.”
“It’s all about them.”‘

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PS – Would you rather be more on the “boastful” side or the “humble” side? Words are all made up you know.

  • Karol

    (can’t login to Disqus dammit, posting as guest)

    Boasting isn’t inherently bad in marketing. I mean, that’s essential what marketing is. “Hey, look! I’ve/we’ve got something that can help you with X because I’m/we’re great at it!”

    But to say that the only options are to boast or to be humble sets up quite a straw man. It’s easy to knock down the other option when it’s presented as an either/or.

    If a potential customer — someone who is ready to buy in — feels the marketing is detracting them because some of it is coming across in a “bad” way then it may be an issue to look at. Because others probably feel the same, it’s fixable, and it can open up a new level of conversion. That said, if it’s not a potential customer then it doesn’t matter much what they think, of course.

  • Pippa

    I’m with you on the ‘humble’ thing; I’m sure it’s a ‘noble’ quality that religions promote which conveniently makes their sheep-like flocks more compliant to control and abuse. Humility is just a way of making those who don’t suffer from that affliction feel less threatened by you. It would be interesting to define boastful and see if that is a valid application of the word to your work. My personal perception of you is that you have the courage to value yourself rather than fear of the disapproval of others. Because you will be disapproved of by someone no matter what you do, you may as well enjoy yourself and fuck the opinions of others rather than drive yourself insane trying to please all the people all the time. My guess is that your friend sees your confidence and it rings alarm-bells for him – he anticipates that you will be punished for your self-love and is warning you – “quick, put your head down, mummy (or daddy) is coming and you know how much she hates it when you feel happy about yourself. Look less pleased with yourself and you’ll avoid her wrath”. You know the kinda’ thing…

  • Steve Mattus

    True humility is about being in accurate relationship with yourself. The dictionary definition is WAY off. Being in accurate relationship with yourself means you understand and are clear regarding your “weaknesses” and your “strengths.” When we lean towards one side or the other, we become out of balance and that’s when energetically things get wonky.

    This is seen quite dramatically in today’s society, where people often are self-critical and harsh with themselves, berating themselves in their self-talk, or speaking in self-deprecating ways.

    It’s also rampant in the movement to recognize ones own “greatness,” which is often used in an overcompensation for the unrelenting, internal self-criticism.

    Finding the middle way – true humility – is difficult, but it’s where we can really connect at the human level.

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