True Friends Stab You In The Front
Over the past several years I’ve done a great deal of shedding. Shedding of identities, shedding of limiting beliefs, shedding of material possessions, and even shedding of friends.
For the most part now, every person who I choose to share my time with has similar values. We value living life with integrity, being radiantly healthy, doing it for love, and constantly pursuing growth.
Every time I have the pleasure of hanging out with these adopted family members, I walk away feeling energized, light and full of love. We share stories of our recent successes, what we’re excited about in the future, and the latest productivity hack or must read book to add to our ever growing reading lists.
But amidst all that juicy, yummy goodness, sometimes one of them pulls me off to the side and says something to the likes of, “Hey Mike, can I give you some feedback?”
Then they tell me something that for a split second crushes my soul.
It could be something that I did to hurt someone that I didn’t even know about. It could be a social situation that I totally screwed up. It could be a bad habit that keeps reoccurring in my life. It could even be the simple acknowledgement of one of my shadow traits that I thought I had gotten past.
After swallowing the horse pill of feedback, I always think one thing though:
“Thank you for loving me so much and having the courage to bring that up to me.”
See, it’s hard to give feedback. It’s damn scary to say to one of your best friends, “Hey man, I think you’re fucking up. And here’s why.”
When someone has the courage to say something like that to me I know that they are a true friend and not someone just around for the hugs and good times. They actually care about me so much that they’re willing to risk momentarily hurting my feelings to push me to higher levels of growth. And I love them for that.
And when you think about it, what’s truly the kinder approach?
- Letting your friend blindly continue to make the same mistakes time after time.
- Giving them a little piece of feedback and a gem of self-awareness that will serve them forever.
So thank you to my friends who hold me accountable, push me to new limits, and tell me when I’m not living life to my full potential.
And though it scares me a little to say this on a public forum, you’re all welcome to stab me anytime. Just ask for permission first.