I’m Michael Hrostoski, Founder of The School For Men.
I help men create Love, Power, and Freedom in every area of their lives.
And I’m arguably the world’s top life coach for men.
It’s been 3 years since I quit my six figure corporate job and decided to live life on my own terms.
I’ve since become a life coach teaching high performing men who run six and seven figure businesses how to truly have it all, redefining what it really means to be a “successful man.”
I’ve helped them have better sex, reconnect with their parents, create deeper relationships with women, and cultivate friendships they hadn’t experienced in decades of living.
And while they are at it, they all make more money as a side effect of all of the extra energy they have.
These guys who seemingly have everything together on the outside open up to me on a regular basis.
Because the real truth is… they don’t have everything together.
And I didn’t either.
You See, I Wasn’t Happy At All…
I remember when I was 30.
I had just finished my MBA at The Ohio State University where I served as Class President. I was working in a highly competitive human resources leadership development program at one of the world’s largest healthcare companies.
And I wasn’t happy. At all.
Everything I had done up to that point in my life was supposed to make me happy, fulfilled, and feel “successful,” but I was depressed.
I had trouble maintaining fulfilling relationships with women, crushing my self esteem because society makes us feel that success with women determines your worth as a man.
I had no idea what I was doing in the bedroom. And I still had a great deal of sexual shame from my upbringing.
I struggled to express my feelings to the people I loved the most. Instead I numbed my pain with drugs and alcohol.
Despite having an active social life, I never felt like I had friends who truly had my back no matter what.
Worst of all… I felt alone. Really alone. Like if I had died, the few people who would show up at my funeral would forget about me in just a few days.
I didn’t know what happiness felt like anymore.
What it felt like to be alive.
What it was like to even feel.
I didn’t know what to do, or where to go.
I read books. I listened to podcasts. I watched seminars.
But nothing was getting better. I was only consuming information, never applying it to my actual life.
I needed to get out and live.
I Remember Those Days When…
I used to read “pickup” material that really screwed up my views on women. This eventually ruined several relationships, and made it a lot harder for me to even have a healthy relationship with a woman.
I consumed endless amounts of information on how to have good sex and satisfy a woman, only to get overwhelmed and anxious when actually having sex. This led to sexual dysfunction, which killed my self esteem and made me feel like less of a man. It was a depressing and distressing downward spiral that intensified every time I had the chance to have sex and perform in the bedroom.
I would hang out with “friends” on weekends only to end up getting drunk, bitching about life, and ending the night feeling unfulfilled. If I had gotten into a serious accident, very few of my “friends” would have even been around to help me.
I went to sleep every night feeling like there was more to life, only to wake up the next morning and do the same thing over again. This drew me even deeper into my self-pity and intense feelings of indifference for being alive.
I was jealous of anyone who had what I thought I wanted. A hot girlfriend, a nice car, financial success.
I was a bonafide hater.
Really. If hating were a sport, I would have held Olympic records.
But Then It All Changed In One Weekend…
And I’m not even exaggerating.
In 2011 I went to Chris Guillebeau’s World Domination Summit. This weekend conference changed my life forever.
Looking back, I don’t even know what the hell I was doing there.
I wasn’t an entrepreneur. I was still working a job I hated. I had no semblance of freedom in my life.
But for some reason I felt called to attend. I remember looking at my computer screen, seeing the website and thinking, “I have no idea why, but I need to be here.”
So, on a whim, I purchased my ticket. I booked my hotel, bought my ticket to Portland, and asked for time off from work.
I was ready to go, still unsure of what I was even getting myself into.
I got to Portland. I checked into my hotel. I met some new friends. I even went skydiving for the first time in my life, with 40 of the conference attendees. I was riding high.
But before the conference could begin, I got a phone call at 3am.
My mom passed away unexpectedly in her sleep.
The conference was set to start in 5 hours.
In that defining moment, I woke up to my life.
It was as if I’d been sleepwalking until that moment. And when the news hit me, I finally woke up.
As I walked into the conference space, I found myself, for the first time ever, in a room with 500 other people who also wanted more from life. It felt like home.
I was among complete strangers, yet I finally felt understood. And most of them were much further along on their journey than I was on mine. Little did I know how important that would turn out to be.
The weekend was like drinking liquid inspiration from a firehose.
The speakers openly shared their stories of how they created their remarkable lives on their own terms.
The conference attendees were some of the most courageous people I’d ever met.
I formed new friendships. I connected with amazingly successful people. I learned things, both from the speakers and the death of my mother, that would jumpstart my life.
Because of this weekend, I went from being a mildly depressed 30 year old man to the life-loving and fulfilled person I am today.
Immediately following the conference, I started this blog.
Six months later I left my corporate job and sold everything that I owned.
I set out to travel the world and I did for 31 months straight.
And I’ve been building my business ever since while studying with, becoming friends with, and even living with some of the world’s greatest teachers.
As I Traveled All Over The World, I Saw The Two Biggest Problems That Men Face…
1) Men don’t have deep connections with other men.
Over the past two years, I’ve consistently heard a common complaint from men:
They don’t have any real friends.
And the more work a man has done on himself, in an effort to better his life, the fewer friends he has.
In fact, the more successful a man is, the more likely it is that he feels lonely.
Many of these men share their desire to have friends like they had in college, in their fraternity, or at their first job.
They’re tired of sacrificing their needs for unfulfilling friendships. They’re tired of keeping friends around who don’t have their back. They’re tired of hiding their true selves from their friends, feeling like they always have to impress people.
And at their core, all they truly want is a group of men they can count on.
The number one reason why they don’t have this is because…
2) Men are afraid to ask for help.
In my coaching practice and friendships with amazing men, I hear this seven word phrase all the time:
“I’ve never told that to anybody before.”
When we were younger, we were taught that “boys don’t cry.” Maybe we were even ridiculed by our peers or father when we expressed emotion.
As a teenager, the worst thing we could possibly hear from our friends was, “Stop being a pussy.”
As adults, we’re told to “man up,” communicating to us that we’re less of a man for beingvulnerable and telling people how we actually feel.With all of this social programming, life gets more and more difficult. The pressure mounts. And ultimately we feel like we’re carrying the weight of the world on our shoulders.
But your life doesn’t have to be this way.
I work with men because when I needed help the most there wasn’t anywhere to turn.
Even asking for help was looked down upon.
I spent so many years suffering in isolation. You don’t have to do the same.
And I know that I’m not the only one.
After traveling the world for 31 months, I met hundreds of men who were looking for something more. But they had no place to turn and no resources to support them in their growth.
So I simply created what I wish I had ten years ago.
I’m not perfect. I’m not enlightened. I’m not a guru.
I’m simply a man.
Just like you.
But the difference between me and most men that I see is…
I show up fully one day at a time, putting one foot in front of the other, while keeping focused on my vision, my mission, my values, and the things that make my heart sing.
Simply doing the best that I can every day to create something that I wish I had when I needed it the most.
And that’s why I’m here.
Why are you here?
Michael Hrostoski, Founder of The School For Men, helps men create Love, Power, and Freedom in every area of their lives. And he’s on a mission to make the world a better place one man at a time.
Michael has helped thousands of men from the ages of 21 to 68 reconnect with their heart, their balls, and their voice to create powerful lifestyles filled with freedom and fulfillment. His work has been called “more impactful than years of therapy.”
Michael is known for living a life without secrets, openly sharing his fears, challenges, and breakthroughs online for the world to see.
Someone always has to go first and he’s not afraid to be that man.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why do you only work with men?
I’ve actually had many female clients, but I primarily work with men for three reasons.
For one, men aren’t really doing this work. And women are doing the work in droves. Oprah is essentially the personal development channel now. Women have hundreds of opportunities to better themselves and there is an overwhelming amount of support for them. For the men, that’s not really the case. It’s not even “cool” for a lot of guys to talk about their feelings or do any kind of personal development work. So I’m really committed to making this work accessible and available for the men who want to do it.
Secondly, I’ve overcome a great deal of pain and trauma to get to where I’m at in life. And for me there’s nothing better than helping the guys who are one or two steps behind me to push through the stuff in a week that took me years to overcome. Most coaches and consultants tend to coach a version of their former self, and that’s the same for me.
Finally, it’s a totally untapped market. No one has stepped up and said, “I’m going to put my entire life’s focus into helping men.” Until now.
You’re only in your early thirties, what makes you think you have all the answers?
I don’t have all the answers and I’ll never claim to. I’m forever a student of life. And teachers regularly appear before me to teach me what I need to learn to step up to the next level.
There’s no certification program to do the work that I do. It comes from the past decade of leaning into my edge and constantly asking myself the question, “Which path will lead to the most growth?”
The second someone tells you that they have all the answers, run. Run fast. All the answers you need are within you right now. It just takes a little digging around to get to them. Or someone who can help you with the process.
No, seriously. What credentials do you have?
I’ve done the whole academic thing if that’s what you’re asking. I was high school valedictorian, a National Merit Scholar, and President of my class in a top-30 MBA program. I taught a business fundamentals class (public speaking, corporate social responsibility, and ethics) for a year at The Ohio State University. And I got a perfect score of 800 on the math section of both my PSAT and SAT. Which is about as important as what I ate for breakfast this morning. Being good at school doesn’t make you good at life. It makes you good at school.
I’ve also done the whole corporate thing. After my MBA, I got hired into a Human Resources Leadership Development Program for a Fortune 50 healthcare firm that only accepted three of us for the whole company that year. I supported the leadership team responsible for the company’s largest restructuring ever and later led a 13-person global project team with members across four continents. But after a year and a half of unnecessary meetings and conference calls, I decided to take the road less traveled.
I graduated from Martha Beck’s life coach training program in March 2013 and went through their extensive certification process three months later. I studied with David Deida and Michaela Boehm at their three-day and five-day advanced sexual yoga intensives. And I’ve coached dozens of clients for hundreds of hours over the past several years.
But most importantly, I’ve been living life in full HD. After leaving Corporate America, I sold everything I own in February 2012 and I spent 31 months traveling all over the world living with, studying from, and throwing events for some of the smartest people in the world. In that time span, I’ve failed thousands of times. But with each failure comes a worthwhile lesson to be learned.
And if there’s one thing I’ve learned about life, it’s that your credentials don’t mean shit. Results do.
Do I have to quit my job and sell all of my material possessions to find true freedom?
Hell no. That’s the path that I took, but that’s what made the most sense for where I was at in my life at that time. I love the principles of lifestyle design, but not all of us can just quit our job and start traveling the world. Some of us have marriages, families, aging parents, or businesses that we have commitments to.
Take the elements of lifestyle design that work for YOU. And discard the rest. It’s your life after all. Not mine, not Tim Ferriss’s, not Richard Branson’s… just yours.
Your articles and Facebook status updates are inspiring to read, but I need someone who can walk me through things one-on-one. Can you help me?
Of course. Just head over to my coaching page and let’s see if we’ll be a good fit together. If not, I have a ton of resources, books, and other coaches that I’d be more than happy to refer you to.
It was easy for you to create the life of your dreams, but what about me? I’m married, I’m in my 40’s or 50’s, I have kids, I work a job that I hate, and I’m in a lot of debt. What about me?
For one, it wasn’t easy. It’s been a ton of work. And the only thing that keeps a man from not living the life that he wants is his belief on whether or not it’s possible. Trust me, I’ve seen some of the most miraculous transformations with men who had nothing going for them. They literally worked miracles in their lives by just deciding to do the work.
I promise you, it’s never too late to change. I’ve seen this both in my own life and in the lives of my friends and clients. It’s simply a choice.
Why do you give so much content away for free?
I love to write. And I love to share my learnings, key takeaways, and struggles in real time, so those of you who are one or two steps behind me can see what’s possible.
There may come a time where I package my writing as some kind of product offering, but for now just enjoy the journey with me.
I don’t know if this work is for me. Honestly, it scares me a little.
I totally get that. This work is not for the faint of heart. But when my mom passed away in the summer of 2011, I started to ask myself the tough questions.
- What would I do if I had a month to live?
- Have I ever really loved someone with all of my heart?
- What would I do if money wasn’t an issue?
- If I died tomorrow, would I feel like I gave it my best effort?
- What if I stopped caring about the opinions of others?
And I’ve been living my life that way ever since. Even when I’m so afraid, that all I want to do is curl up in a little ball and hide. But with every little win, the world opens up to you a little more and gives you everything you ever wanted. I promise.
Your writing triggers me. Sometimes I get angry when I read your work. Why do you have to be like that?
I do it because I Love You. Wake up you beautiful drop of God you.