Be Thankful For Your Villains
It was one of those brunches that was something like a mastermind group, support group, improv comedy sketch, and family breakfast all rolled in one.
At some point in the conversation Abe brought up the idea of being thankful for our villains.
At first I thought, “Hell no. All the pain they caused me. All the sleepless nights, the stress, the appointments with therapists.”
As we talked the idea through, I started to appreciate my villains.
Would you have quit your corporate job if you didn’t have that horrible boss?
Would you have ever started your life coaching practice that has helped thousands of women to find their voice if you never met your abusive husband?
Would Jesus Christ be Jesus Christ without Judas Iscariot?
The horrible boss, the man who beats his wife, and even Judas Iscariot, the most famous traitor of all time. Where are they now?
Your boss still works in their middle management job that they despise.
Your ex-husband is either in prison, painfully alone, or with someone else who hasn’t found her power yet.
And Judas Iscariot… well, he hung himself.
As I sat there at brunch I looked back into the film strip of my life at the “villains” who caused me pain and distress.
Then I used a tool that I use for my coaching clients to eliminate guilt and shame from when they were younger. Instead of beating yourself up for being a cheater, an alcoholic, sexually promiscuous, a drug user, or a criminal, can you retell your life story while being as loving and compassionate to your former self as possible?
Using that lens, I looked back at my villains with complete love and compassion.
I realized that they were that way simply because they were in a great deal of pain.
And on top of that, they were there for a reason. They were there to help me leave that job, that relationship, that city, or that social group.
And for that, I’m so thankful for my villains.
Who are your villains? Can you be as loving and compassionate to them as possible and see their pain?
And can you finally see the gift that they gave you?
[Photo Credit: bobsfever]