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This Is What Turning Two Years Old Looks Like

284556446_e73412f5d5 is turning two years old today. Happy Birthday!

I remember how long it took for me to write my first blog post.

Click here to read it. Don’t worry, it’s short.

Isn’t that eerie?

When I first launched this blog I was a disillusioned human resources professional at a Fortune 50 firm trying to manage mourning the death of my mother and getting my mind blown at the first World Domination Summit.

It took me months to write this first blog post. That’s right, months. Just to say “Hello World!”

But then David and I set off on a road trip across North America to spread my mother’s ashes. I wrote about it and tweeted every one of the 40 locations that we spread Mie Sarah Hrostoski.

I didn’t do it for more pageviews, for more Twitter followers, or for higher search rankings in Google for “spreading your mothers ashes.”

I did it because David had just graduated high school a week prior and I didn’t want him to fall into a bad place. I did it because the idea just came to me as I was sitting at work as something that I absolutely needed to do. I did it because I was fucking sad.

When I got back to my corporate job it was like going back to prison after getting caught after a prison break. Every morning I’d feel a tightening in my chest and stomach as I walked into the building. Every evening as I walked out I felt like Tim Robbins standing in the rain at the end of Shawshank Redemption. Freedom at last!

Every damn day.

At the end of the year I parted ways with the corporate world and took the leap. I made a commitment to taking a full year off and spending all of 2012 doing things that made me happy.

Two months after that, I sold everything I own and donated 80% of my closet.

A month later, my girlfriend broke up with me.

And somewhere while trying to answer the question “What would you do if money wasn’t an issue?” I decided that David and I would spend the summer driving across the United States doing volunteer work.

A Summer To Serve was amazing.

We drove over 12,000 miles across the United States. We traveled through 29 states and stayed in 35 different cities. And we directly impacted hundreds of people.

We worked on construction projects. We volunteered in youth shelters. At one point we found ourselves shoveling horse shit in Des Moines, IA.

But most importantly somewhere along the way we became better people.

I started Martha Beck’s life coach training program in June of that year. I started deep diving into my life, examining and disbelieving my limiting beliefs and grieving emotions that I had been carrying around for years.

I cried a lot last year.

I also drank a lot and had a lot of sex.

And then I didn’t drink at all and had zero sex. For two months.

And then I decided to write all about it on the Internet.

That post was a big one for me. I found my voice. And my balls.

At the beginning of this year I launched my coaching practice after spending hundreds of hours doing pro-bono coaching last year. My first month I made $3200. Breakeven, check.

After A Summer To Serve and traveling all over the country connecting with entrepreneurs, I found myself with a whole lot of social capital. I did backflips into Dane Maxwell’s pool, I took naps on the couch with Pam Slim’s kids, I slept on Dyana Valentine’s floor, and I went tubing with Andy Drish and his girlfriend.

I started hosting meetups across the country every time I was in a new city. Now I can walk into any city and get a dozen amazing people together for dinner or drinks on a day’s notice.

Then on a whim, I decided to study with David Deida and Michaela Boehm at a three day sexual yoga intensive in February. Mind blown.

Then I went back for their five day advanced intensive. Mind quadruple blown.

And then it happened. Somewhere last month in June.

The tipping point.

The requests for my time started increasing almost exponentially. Coaching clients, interviews, workshops, emails from readers and friends.

I’m teaching two workshops at a retreat in Costa Rica in September. I was selected to speak at the Martha Beck, Inc Coaches Summit in March, despite being one of the newest coaches in the MBI ranks. And I’ll be rolling out some crazy awesome offerings over the next year in line with my mission of making the world a better place one man at a time.

And now here I am.

I live in a TED talk. Every day I’m surrounded by brilliant people with huge hearts.

I create art every day. Coaching, writing, speaking, status updates, workshops and parties, and my new internet show.

“I help high performing men master their relationships with their women and their work.” Yeah, that’s not just my Twitter bio, that’s the absolute truth of who I am.

I stopped drinking and fucking so much. I’m not sober or celibate, but I consciously partake in both on a rare occasion and never feel bad afterwards.

And despite living out of a suitcase and being in a different city every couple of days I somehow got in the best shape of my life.

photo (3)

Yep, the terrible twos.

Like a two year old running around the house in his superhero underwear, I’m starting to get a little rambunctious. I’m not only testing my limits but the patience of my parents (see: readers and friends).

As I take my first steps as a two year old today, I can’t help but think of what got me here. And what’s going to continue to drive me forward on this journey.

1. Being impeccable with my word

Speaking my truth. Making good on every agreement, even as simple as being on time to every phone call and meeting. Not making agreements that I can’t keep. Saying no when I dont have the bandwidth or desire to fulfill someone’s request.

And being wildly transparent, authentic, and open to my friends, my lovers, and my clients.

2. Showing up in the world as love

Keeping my heart open to everyone I encounter, despite their place in society or what they think of me. Leaving every person a little bit better than I found them, even if it’s just with a smile, a hug, or a hello. Loving someone even if I feel their judgment or resentment for blogging about masturbation or posting a picture of myself getting ready to break a world record in Ironman underwear.

Constantly coming back to the mantra “I Love You And I Don’t Care What You Do.”

3. Playing at my edge

Speaking my truth even when it scares me. Throwing myself headfirst into experiences that I’ll grow from. Becoming bigger and bolder despite the push back from people around me. Hitting “publish” even when my index finger is trembling a little.

Doing something that scares me every day. Even when I want to run and hide.

4. Being totally 100% on purpose

Eliminating distractions. Saying no to work that doesn’t further my purpose. Discarding the idea of being a multipotentialite. Putting every ounce of my being into helping men be more successful with their women and their work.

Stepping up.

5. Giving zero fucks about what anyone thinks

Doing whatever brings me pleasure, even if it’s outside conventional norms. Dancing, laughing, singing, and celebrating this thing called life. Finding pleasure in the mundane even if the spiritual elitists think it’s below them now. Never doing something because I “should,” but because I “choose to.”

Having lots and lots and lots of fun. Eating more gelato.

6. Sharing my gifts unapologetically

Making art every day, even if it sucks. Sharing that art with the world without any attachment to the outcome. Giving freely without any desire for reciprocity. Doing it for love, not for validation or acceptance.

And realizing that I have one chance at this beautiful thing called life.

Two years old. Wow.


[Photo Credit: hira3]

  • Galo

    Fucking. Beautiful.

  • Jessica Scheer

    congrats big bro! So happy to have met you on this amazing journey 🙂 Mucho amor xox

    • Mike Hrostoski

      Yaaaaaaa sis. <3

  • Matt Horwitz

    Fucking amazing man. Well said w/ a lot of heart. Keep rockin’ !!

  • David Updegraff

    Hi Michael:

    Congratulations on your successful two-year journey! You may be one of the bravest men I know. Not brave in the sense of “Don’t fuck with me, man;” but brave in the sense that you regularly expose yourself totally in your writings and in your journey. As a 74-year old man, I view that with some envy, some sense that I wish I could have done that, but with the realization that the world I grew up in and was launched into the world was vastly different than the world today. The societal expectation was one of conformity to certain norms and behaviors in order to be “successful.” Many of the people in my generation, and just before and just after, chose to opt out of those expectations by joining the beatnik and/or hippie cultures. Those cultures emphasized a drug culture, a free love and free will lifestyle, and somewhat outlandish garb, hair, and the like. I flirted with pot a bit back then, and checked out the hippie culture, but ended up with a different sort of rejection of society’s expectations: I joined the Peace Corps and taught English for two years in Thailand. I went to Thailand in May of 1963 and stayed until May of 1965. It was a tremendous experience which has influenced the rest of my life.

    When I returned I married Susan, entered the U of Michigan and got an MSW, and began a 35 year career in education of deaf kids, first as a social worker and later as administrator. Along the way, Susan and I had two wonderful daughters and now have two bright and accomplished grandsons. In August, we will celebrate our 48th anniversary.

    Clearly a very different life path than you have set yourself on. Mine has worked well for me; yours appears to be doing the same.

    I should mention that after my retirement from education in August, 2011, we traveled the country in an RV, settled in Tucson, and I went back to school for my coaching certification at Hudson Institute in Santa Barbara. I then opened a coaching business in January 2006 which I ran for about six years and have since closed. I now work as CEO of a small company providing home health care for vulnerable and disabled adults and children.

    I look forward to reading more of your posts, Michael, and wish you all the best as you continue your journey.


    • Mike Hrostoski

      “A different life path than I’ve set my life on.” For now at least. 🙂

      I love the ability to have multiple lives in one. Thank goodness for technology.

  • Fly Brother

    #2…That’s God in you, my man, shinin’ through. Great post, Mike.

  • Amber J. Adams

    Inspiring…even those red undies. Come back to NYC and dance with me soon!

  • Paul Eglinton

    Your a gifted writer Mike. Authentically articulating what`s going on the inside is your art.

  • Anonymous

    Would love your thoughts on how you do #2 and #5 at the same time. To love is to care, and yet you seem to think you don’t have to care. There is a balance between living selfishly and openly, and it is important not to wobble drunkly over the line between the two.

    • Mike Hrostoski

      “I Love You And I Don’t Care What You Do.”

      For me it’s staying open and loving everyone and everything. It’s taking in judgment, hatred, insults, dirty looks, hate mail, and attacks and sending it back out as love.

      And #5 is not needing anything from anyone. Realizing that I am Love. I am Joy. I don’t need your validation. I don’t need your acceptance. I don’t need anything from you, but I want everything for you.

      #2 + #5 = Unconditional Love

  • Maggie Reyes

    This is BEAUTIFUL! Thank you for Living Your Truth Mike! Love the work you do in this world. 🙂

  • Taylor Jacobson

    Mike, just meeting you that first time – feeling your energy and experiencing deep intuitive resonance – was enough to get me present to my life’s possibilities and get my own fire burning. And when I read beautiful posts like this one, it’s like throwing another huge log into that flame. Thank you. Love you brother.

  • Kate Marolt

    Love. Happy Birthday. Beautiful principles to live by. Thank you for sharing.

  • Maria Holmes

    I remember reading your first blog post…has it really been two years already?!! Amazing. Thank you for sharing your truth and for continually inspiring me (even though I’m not exactly in your coaching target market…much of what you say resonates with me). Keep being awesome. Happy terrible two’s!

  • ADD

    I’m genuinely curious about how it is that you show up in the world as love. What does that mean? What does that look like in practice? I don’t think that I know what love is and I want to know.