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Play Your Way Into Her Pants

Be Playful My Friend

I love to play.

Most of my life is some form of play.

Being outdoors, moving my body, watching silly YouTube videos, dancing, laughing until my face hurts, going on adventures with amazing friends, playing on the beach, eating meals with people I love.

Even coaching, writing, and speaking feels like play to me most of the time.

Today as I was sitting in a retreat, totally blissed out, lying on the ground wearing this outfit…

Kitty Cats

…I started thinking about how heavy my last couple of posts have been.

Then I realized that most of you don’t know me in person, so you might think I’m some kind of self help psychopath who sits around all day reliving all my core wounds and then writing about it.

I don’t take credit for the term “self help psychopath.” Dave Booda jokingly called me that in an email this morning after getting this blog post.

But yeah… my last couple of blogs have been pretty heavy. Pretty dark. The kind of stuff that usually stays within the confines of a men’s group or a therapist’s office.

But here’s the thing you have to understand…

You have to go through the pain to step fully into joy.

You have to burn up your old stories, old ways of being, and old habits to let the light wash over you. You have to face your demons head-on and realize that they are just stories, irrational fears, or social programming you got when you were younger.

In short, you have to slay your dragons.

But once you do the work… be playful my friend.

Play yo’ mothafucking face off.

If you haven’t met me in person yet or if you just started reading my blog, then you might think I sit around all day like the Lord of Darkness thinking about how I can make people cry or get angry.

Lord Of Darkness


That is not a picture of my office. I prefer a standing desk anyway.

Most of my life is something like this…

Play 1

Or this…

Play 2

Or this…

Play 3

Or this…

Play 4

Or this…

Play 5

Or this… (click upper left for sound)

God, I love the Vine app.

But seriously. Or not so seriously…

When given the choice, I play.

I play until I want to rest, and I rest until I want to play.

And being playful is not only good for your health, but it’s an attractive quality to have as a man. I’ve had many conversations with women where they expressed how much they just wished their partners played with them.

  • “I wish he wasn’t on that laptop all day.”
  • “I wish he just played with me. He’s so serious all the time.”
  • “I wish he let himself laugh once in a while.”
  • “I don’t know if he even has a sense of humor.”

Still don’t believe you can play your way into her pants?

A survey of 250 undergraduate students found that playfulness was the usually the most important thing people looked for in a long-term partner. Women ranked “sense of humor” second, “fun loving” third, and “playful” fourth on the survey.

I don’t know about you, but a woman who lights me up, makes me smile, and has a great sense of humor is so sexy to me.

And from the survey results, it’s pretty sexy to them too.

So when was the last time you played? When the last time you just did something fun because you wanted to do it? When’s the last time you laughed so hard your cheeks hurt?

When’s the last time you made your partner laugh so hard her cheeks hurt?

If it’s been a while, then you have some work to do.

I mean… some play to do.


PS – Speaking of play, I’m hosting a meetup in NYC on Monday evening with some of the lightest, brightest people in the city. Come out for some authentic connection, hugs, and shenanigans.

  • TJ Nelson

    I like this. Sometimes we get so stuck in the mode of getting from point A to point B. We think, “If I do this then I will get that.” We get into the serious mode of trying to achieve.

    Ever since I started meditating it helped me become more playful. I am more in the moment. So when I meet up with a woman, I try and just have fun and not care about anything else.

    Lately I have even been called “childish” which is new. But the women that have called me “childish” have also later told me there was something special about me.

  • Dawn |

    I completely agree that a guy who makes me laugh and smile will win every time.

    In fact, if you take a super attractive fellow who takes himself a tad too seriously and put him next to a really plain guy with a great sense of humor who is open and honest and approachable, then the plain guy becomes incredibly attractive. He’s the one that will get my heart racing, my pulse quickening, and he’ll be the one I’ll want end my evening with. He’s the one that makes me relax, and then that’s when the fun happens. 😉

  • Sarah Andrews

    Simba Sunday! You just made my morning. 🙂

  • James

    I think I might have to get on Simba Sundays. Now to find a puppy….

  • Tim Francis

    This post hit me deep. I get so involved and serious about creating the business side of my life that I haven’t allowed my playful energy to surface in a while.