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Why Are You So Hard On Yourself?

Why Are You So Hard On Yourself

Tell me friend,

Why are you so hard on yourself?

Why do you judge yourself so much for the things you did in the past? Why do you feel so much guilt?

You label the actions in your past as “selfish” or “promiscuous” or “stupid” or “reckless” or “horrible.”

I only see a child doing the best that they could in that moment with the resources that they had.

Doing the best that they could to feel loved. Doing the best that they could do to feel significant. Doing the best that they could to survive.

Stop letting your mistakes from the past hold you back from having the life that you want today.

“But what if I mess up again? But what if I commit another sin? What if I hurt someone’s feelings?”

I promise you this… you’re going to mess up again. You’re going to sin, every day, if there even is such a thing as sin. And you will hurt people’s feelings. You’re hurting people’s feelings right now by your way of being.

But that is their pain, not yours.

That is their expectation of you to be a certain way in order for them to love you. That’s not unconditional love.

I fully love and accept you.

Not because I’m some sort of guru or master or enlightened spiritual dude. Those are all silly labels.

And it’s not because I have it all figured out. Anyone who says they have it all figured out is delusional.

I fully love and accept you because it helps me have a more pleasurable existence.

I fully love and accept you because I when don’t, I just cause myself suffering.

I fully love and accept you because as I learn how to do that, the world becomes a much more enjoyable place to live.

I fully love and accept you for my benefit, not yours.

I fully love and accept you because that’s all really needed to hear when I was young and in pain and subconsciously destroying everything in my life.

And who knows… maybe that’s what you needed to hear today to get past whatever is staring you in the face.

So go out there and get messy.

Love bigger than anyone ever has in the history of mankind. Speak your truth like it was your last day on earth. Fuck like you were sinking on the Titanic.

Wait, you don’t trust yourself?

I do.

I trust that you’ll make the right decision. In fact, I know with absolute certainty that you’ll make the right decision.

You have been your entire life. You just haven’t been seeing it that way.


[Photo Credit]

  • Chloe Hughes

    LOVE this post so much Mike. Xoxo, Chloe

  • David Hrostoski

    Thanks, Mike.

    This is exactly what I needed to hear today.

    My favorite quote from you is, “You’re doing the best you can, and that’s perfect.”
    I tell it to people all the time, and it tends to bring up a lot of tears.

    We’re so GD hard on ourselves. If everyone stopped for just 10 seconds a day and said those 9 words to themselves, the world would be a much more loving and compassionate place.

    To Our Continual Self Love,

    David Hrostoski

  • Julio Andrade

    I’ve been doing this exact work the last two weeks (with Phil Drolet and Mike Slavin). This was excellent timing for me! Thanks Mike!

    • Mike Hrostoski

      Nice! Phil and Mike are awesome dudes. You’re in good hands. 🙂

  • Jennifer Grant

    Thanks, Mike! Very thoughtful post.

  • Lundsberg

    If a fried talked to you like you talk to yourself – How long would he/she be your friend?

  • Tim Schmidt

    Thanks Mike! I love you, too! ^_^