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Have Your Cake And Eat It Too

Have Your Cake And Eat It Too

In my coaching practice, my clients regularly come up against limiting beliefs that tell them that they have to make a choice between one thing OR the other.

For example, they might believe that they have to choose between a thriving business OR or a thriving relationship. Or they think that they can either have a fun and fulfilling sex life OR get married. Or they think that they have to be a nice guy OR an asshole in order to win a woman’s affection.

There are thousands of these EITHER OR lies floating around that are further reinforced by our parents, peers, professors, and the media.

What do I think about these lies?

I say fuck that.

You can have your cake and eat it too.

And the more that I travel and connect with amazing people who are living lives of complete and utter delight, the more that they give me permission to do the same.

Like our friends Foxy and Tigre from A Forbidden Life. Liz and I just spent two days with them sleeping in this teepee in their backyard. They’ve destroyed every disempowering belief around marriage and parenting with heavy helpings of play, love, and creativity. Their house is simply one of the most magical places I’ve walked into.

And that’s because it’s what they consciously choose to create every single day together.

This morning Liz and I took a walk in Balboa Park to start our day off together. We did some sprints, climbed on some playground equipment, walked down to the museums, dipped our hands in the fountain, and essentially turned all of Balboa Park into our personal jungle gym.

On the walk back to the house that we are staying at I said, “Hey babe, let’s play a game. The prompt is: ‘I can be X AND I can be Y.’ I’ll go first…”

“I can be in a loving, supporting, thriving relationship AND I can build a loving, supporting, thriving business.”

“I can hold space for thousands of women AND still feel energized and centered.”

“I can have a strong, muscular body AND I can have a soft, flexible body.” 

“I can be a dancer AND I can be an athlete.”

“I can live a life that is full of rest and play AND build a business that has great impact in the world.”

“I can be in amazing shape AND still connect with my women.”

“I can be in amazing shape AND still be warm and approachable.”

“I can make a shit ton of money AND be organized with my finances.”

“I can be in a monogamous relationship AND have the hottest, wildest sex of my life.”

“I can be conscious and generous AND still have nice things.”

“I can continue to become more powerful energetically AND still feel at peace no matter who the people are around me.”

“I can continue to evolve spiritually and emotionally AND still be part of my family.”

And on and on we played, holding hands through the park, declaring for ourselves a new life free of our old limitations.

Has the point gotten through to you yet?

You can have whatever you want in this lifetime. Whatever.

Those EITHER OR statements that you heard someone say a decade ago that have now gotten lodged into your operating system are all lies.

Your only limitations are the limitations that you place upon yourself.

Yes, you can have your cake and eat it too. And by doing so, you give permission to everyone else around you to do the same.

Which to me is one hell of a kind thing to do for the world.


PS – How about you? What are some of your “have your cake and eat it too” sentences? Leave them in the comments below to make them even more real for you.

[Photo Credit]

  • foxytigre

    Yes to smothering duality with more YES! 🙂 Thanks, Señor Tigre 🙂

    • Emelie Pickett

      So fun to learn what transpires out of our love vortex <3

  • Melissa Toler

    I can travel the world AND meet a guy who also wants to travel the world. I can build a successful business AND have a major social impact in the world. I’m going to take some time to write ALL my “have your cake and eat it too” sentences. I love this exercise!

    • Mike Hrostoski

      Yes and Yes! I know couples who travel the world together AND plenty of entrepreneurs who are solving some of the world’s biggest problems for a profit.

  • Pingback: Exercises for having your cake & eating it too |

  • Namaste

    I can fully embrace being polyamorous and know that I will be able to find the kind of meaningful relationships I want too.

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