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I Want You To Love Saying No

I Want You To Learn To Say No

Note: This is an excerpt from today’s shared journaling exercise with my friend’s mother, who I’ve been writing every day for the past two weeks.

I want you to learn how to say No.

I want you to love saying No.

I want you to practice saying No in the mirror.

I want you to have a NO in your back pocket that would make a gang member recoil in fear.

So many women don’t have that No in their arsenal.

So they allow men to walk all over them. They allow their boundaries to be crossed time after time after time. Some of them end up getting sexually assaulted.


Because they didn’t say no.

No is sexy.

I love when Liz says No.

I love when she honors herself.

I literally smile and look at her in the eyes with a look of deep satisfaction every time she says no to me.

It’s not very often.

But it keeps me on my toes. It keeps my heart open to her. It keeps me from getting lazy.

And it makes me realize that I don’t always get whatever I want whenever I want. Because no one truly does.

I do a lot. But not all the time.

No is divine.

No is sacred.

No says, “Thank you very much for your offer, but I love myself too much to allow my boundaries to be crossed.”

No creates more space in our lives.

No clears calendars and opens up time on the weekends.

No keeps us from turning into an exploding doormat, ready to snap at any moment.

No is like music to my ears.

Because I love you the most when you love yourself first.


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