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Why I Talk About Sex So Much

Why I Talk About Sex So Much

I never planned on being a “sex expert.”

Hell, I was so afraid of girls in high school I couldn’t even look them in the eyes.

But as I’ve been on this journey of growth for the past three years, I just kept pushing my edges. I kept walking headfirst into the things that caused me the most discomfort.

And for me, sex was one of my biggest edges.

Up until pretty recently I felt like a failure in the bedroom. I’ve experienced every “sexual dysfunction” possible.

Premature ejaculation, yep. Erectile dysfunction, yep. Low libido, yep. Inability to satisfy my partner, yep.

Crippling sexual shame every time I had sex, yep.

But what I started to learn was that the more that I talked about sex with my partner, my friends, and the world, the more sex I had and the better it got. Yes, both higher quality and quantity.

Because when you fear something you won’t welcome it into your heart. When you love it, it shows up into your life in abundance.

And then as I started sharing stories on my blog and with the men that I met, men came out of the woodwork to share their stories with me. Men who realized, “Wow, I’m not the only one.”

I’ve heard it all now. Nothing phases me. A man can say just about anything to me about sex and I’ll look at him like he just told me what he ate for breakfast. Zero judgment.

Polyamory, sex addiction, prostitutes, BDSM, sexual abuse, fetishes, celibacy, pornography, orgies, sexual healings, energetic sex, experimentation with men, non-ejaculatory orgasms, rape fantasies.

I can talk about these subjects now like I talk about the weather. Which allows me to hold a safe space for men to talk about things that they thought were off limits or taboo.

And when you start to develop a certain amount of sexual power in your life, you start to develop power in other areas of your life. How you show up in the bedroom is how you show up in the boardroom.

Most importantly, the best thing about diving into your sexual practice is that you get to have really, really amazing sex with someone you love.

Which in my opinion is one of the greatest experiences a human being can have.

So I talk about sex so much because no one else does. And men need to know that they aren’t damaged, flawed, perverted, or broken.

They are just human.

And part of being a human being is having sex.

It took a whole lot of sex over the past several thousands of years for you to be reading these words. So why would you ever buy into the illusion that sex is a dirty word?


PS – I’m thrilled to a featured presenter in the 1st Online Conscious Sexuality and Relationship Conference from May 12-16th. Join me and hosts Marc David and Emily Rosen, co-founders of the Institute for Conscious Sexuality and Relationship. Over 40 experts will share innovative ideas and daring insights while honoring all of who we are as relational and sexual beings. Sign up for FREE here:

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  • Ben

    Love it, man!

  • Nate

    This is awesome!! Thanks for your insight