I Love Women
Last night I wrote this post on Facebook. Late at night after another long day in front of the laptop.
It was a bit of a rant, but if I didn’t get if off my chest I don’t think I could have gone to bed.
A lot of people have shared it. Most of them are women. In fact, have you noticed how most of the comments on everything I post is from women? Probably not, but I do.
After I posted that, I had over a dozen new friend requests. Over 90% women.
Look at the comments from men.
This one here makes me a sad. Not because of the words towards me, but because most guys just don’t get it.
This is the honest truth and it’s why my life is the way it is…
I Love Women.
And men who love women are loved by women.
It’s really simple actually.
I love women enough to be able to have rich, deep, heart-centered connections with them. Even married women or women in partnerships. I’m able to modulate my sexual energy so they feel comfortable and I show up to them like a brother or one of their gay friends. And they feel safe to have a real conversation with a man instead of feeling his needy sexual energy slime all over them.
I love women enough that I appreciate beauty everywhere I go. And I let them know when they are beautiful, or when a piece of my jewelry catches my eye, or when they wear something that flatters their figure. I have no attachment to the outcome though. My only goal is to open them up in that moment.
I love women enough to be able to give them the space to be their ugliest self. To not run away when they get angry, to not close off when they cry, and to not retract my love when they find themselves at their darkest and ugliest. And when they know they can show me their ugly, they show me the beautiful that they’ve been waiting their whole life to share.
I love women enough to tell them the truth. Which has been a constant journey from lying to and manipulating women in my twenties to trying my hardest to be impeccable with my word in every moment. It’s fucking terrifying to tell them the truth sometimes. But even when it hurts a little, there is a deeper appreciation that wasn’t there before. And the openness that follows makes for the most amazing sex, love, and connection.
I love women enough to look into their souls, to pull their hair, to pin their arms down, to breathe dirty talk into their ears, and bring a skillful level of intensity and darkness in our sexual practice that makes them feel like their edges are dissolving into pleasure. Even when less than a year ago it used to make me so uncomfortable, I probably wouldn’t even be able to read the previous sentence out loud.
I love women enough to stay open to their feedback. And I get a lot of it. A majority of my growth in the past two years has been from the magnificent women in my life. I’m so grateful for their open and honest feedback because it’s only helped me show up better. Thank you so much.
I love women enough to move things along as sloooooooow as possible when it comes to sex. Not only does it build crazy amounts of anticipation and sexual tension, but it allows the both of you to decide if this is something that you really want in this moment.
And I love women enough to say No when it’s not a Hell Yes. Which has been my latest edge, but it’s something that has been helping me not only in my relationships, but in my business.
But I fuck up all the time. ALL the time.
I’m not perfect. I’m far from it. And I’ll never be.
But at my core, I love women.
And the men who are my closest friends love women.
And the world that I live in is so full of love, connection, and richness that sometimes it’s a little overwhelming how amazing it is.
And I wish more men had that.
Update: I wrote this piece (“I’m Sorry Men“) on December 9 as a response to some feedback I got.